Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sociable is the word of the week!

Sociable is a big word that I never realized how hard it can be for peoople. As my husband says, " You can just talk to anyone." I can't help it, it is natural. However, not natural for many I have learned.

As a young girl my adventures were learning and talking to EVERYONE in the neighborhood... My mom knew I was everywhere on our street talking to many of the older neighbors, I would spend hours at their houses just talking even at a young age. I just love to talk and learn. I would absorb their experiences and learn what they knew. I don't think she ever worried if someone took me because everyone knew me.

So my husband who was never really sociable taught me for the first time about the word "shy" and  how he did not like to be around people, not because he is a mean person. He just didn't feel comfortable. I never could understand how you just not be able to talk to someone or NOT want to be around people. I love people and love to have fun! We compromised in many situations through the years......Basically, I learned to not be pushy or personal. :)

So here I am again, dealing with being sociable! Now, many people fear homeschooling because they are worried the children may not be okay in society. Sheltering is a common thought. I believe that many children I meet that are not homeschooled need to learn more about being social and etiquette then others, lol. So in thought, it really depends on the parents and how they teach their children.

However, that is not the case at all because we have always been around people. Aleq is now old enough and at that age where he is realizing he really does not have HIS friends. He knows many people but not a consistant friendship  which is what he needs to grow even more. He is very unsure where he stands with others and I know that is an insecurity with his SPD. He is a sociable person but getting to become sociable with someone is his struggle. When he was younger he was just better at just being alone, he didn't want anyone around him. In his eyes, he sees his sister with many of her friends doing activities now. You can see he wants to a part of that but can't figure out the instructions to do it.
Sometimes there has to be a breakdown to rebuild to fix the problem. With ANYTHING in life....Remember this, it is okay for them to have a breakdown. I have come home many times in tears! But the breakdowns is how we learn what to work on.

You know how easy it would be for me to just walk around with these flyers with me so others would understand....

Lately, I could tell he has been having trouble around others again. He would pick on them or be rude. However, if you have an SPD or Autistic child you know automatically things can come out of their mouth that all you can do is shrug your shoulders. They do not know the normal instructions, they are not wired that way. So it is our job to repeat the instruction until they can make that decision without frustration and sometime in reality that may not ever happen. But assuring them you are there to help guide them is the key for them.
Our level has grown to another level in many areas but at this age learning to become sociable is the word of the week. Role play is really important.
Sometimes SPD kids do not realize what to do around others they may not know in the room, as in how to talk to them or even what to do when they see others they do know.. ...Sometimes the first reaction for them is frustration, pressure, or I have seen shutting down.
 We have a game we play...before we go anywhere I try to inform him of what it is, why we are going, and who might be there. Then I try to come up with things to do first, for example ask the person is doing or what have they have been doing lately. If we have had issues in the past with things he may do, touching people or hugging them hard, I try to remind him not everyone likes this. Another issue is knowing to stop if someone says stop, he gets overwhelmed and he shows his excitement with touching or hitting. This is a repetitive game.....What I have realized and you must realize if you have an SPD child that you must never stop this.
I have found a great tool to help him. I have read and learned SPD kids need to be on routine. Well, ding ding ding, as a homeschool mom I have to have a routine so this is easy for me. However, they need to see and know what is happening, nothing spontaneous, if there is a change then we talk about why it has changed.  So, I started a weekly calendar that lists our appointments, activities, and daily schedule. This has truly helped him now he is reading better. He knows to go and look before asking me.  It also helps with him feeling secure and stable. Then he prepares according to the schedule. My daugther even loves it, she goes and stands before it almost everyday, lol.

Once he can get to be sociable with someone which can take a while, then he is smooth sailing. Every once in a while it is normal that it just becomes overwhelming and he wants to give up, that is when I tell him when he feels that way to come tell me so we can leave or have space.  Our struggle most of the time is finding others that understand and have patience. I know that will always be a bump in his path. Finding parents who can be consistent to have "hang out" time is another struggle. It is so important for kids to have that.... Having that time to just "hang out" and bond is important for anyone of any age. However, it seems these days we are so busy with life we are not consistent. This is not good for anyone!

It seems the ability to be sociable is a good skill to have and being able to get to that point. Through the years I have found some of my friends have a hard time and are shy...Are you shy? Are you sociable? Do you have a hard time around others? Just curious...Do you find that your children have become shy or panic around others? I would love to hear your feedback on this.

Have a blessed week and with the Christmas parties coming up....I think this is a great topic to address. ;)

Peace, love, and happiness!



Sunday, December 2, 2012

I didn't leave forever!

I hope all of you are doing well! I am back after a brief break and I look forward to helping any of you through our events that have happened. So much has changed in 2012! Much progress with my children and life in general. Please, be sure to read my previous posting that may help you out.

To sum it all up this is Aleq's year for school, Ashlie is borderline highschool level, and I work from home with a great group of people. Yeah, I think that was a quick way to put it! Look how much they have grown.

Today, I sat and reflected on our, the years are just going so fast!

While grading Ashlie's math and getting her average for the first half of the semester, yes I this is my practice year for next year. She did good and has a B+. She has really stepped up to the plate and became responsible for her work. I simply now have her work written weekly on an assignment sheet that is given to her each Monday. It does not matter how she does it but it all needs to be completed by Friday. We started this to have her become more responible for her actions and work. I know she needs to learn deadlines...
I thought this time would never come upon us. During the summer I was freaking out... I know I am not the only mother that feels this way when the have a child entering highschool I? So she is finishing up up The Hobbit unit study,! She loved it! She always resists when I pick the books but then enjoys them or perhaps because the movie is coming out soon!

She has really matured and shown her own personality this year. I am so proud of who she has become and what she does. Now, the fun teen years really start with more details in learning life lessons....I don't know if I am ready for this.

Aleq, he has progressed so much! He is on his level with everything but writing. Look, after many tears, I finally realized that I have to just let him take babysteps. We will get there. His spelling is awesome, he is getting it. We used the All About Spelling,

I can't tell you enough how awesome this program it! It is for any type of learner!
So, we were using the Pathway Readers, which were excellent. However, I happened to find good ole Charlottes Web and thought why is he not reading this instead. I know he can read.  So I grabbed it and he freaked! His face was priceless. Then I told him he could do it, it ended up being a break through. So, I have learned that only YOU know your child and only YOU know when to push. This led to going to the library with friends picking up Diary of a Wimpy Kid's book...that is all it took. Please, Jeff K., do not stop writing because you are all he reads. They just came out with #7...he has read them ALL except for this one since September. I am a crybaby and cried with joy over this still

So this is how school is going so far to sum it all up. Never give up and never stop trying because you can progress.  The icing on the cake is my husband has been helping  more with Aleq's schooling. He does great with Aleq. It never hurts for our spouse to help out and you never know, they may enjoy it. LOL, he is comfortable right now at his level to teach him. He said when he gets in higher grade he will hand it back over....we shall see. Does anyone else have a spouse that helps with the teaching?

We still have days where Aleq takes two steps back but he so much farther then he was and I know it would not have happened if he was in public school. I often wonder how many children through the years have issues but people think they are just bad. I am a deep thinker on that idea.......Children are our future and I will do all I can to help them become a better person and have their qualities shine!

I will be back more and more...sorry for the bried delay, I look forward to supporting you through your journey with SPD and homeschooling even more.

It feels good to be you know what really encouraged me! I found out a therapist actually had my blog down as a resource! UNBELIEVABLE!!! So now, I will continue to be a resource and help as much as I can! We can do anything,through God!

Peace, love, and happiness....

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