The Challenging Child....

The book on my reading table now is The Challenging Child by Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D. and is has been really uplifting so far.

I have read The Explosive Child , which is very informative and helps you understand ways to talk to your children without having a meltdown regardless of there disability or just if they are an explosive child. There are reasons your child may get angry easy or frusterated.   The first step is finding that reason, ours is because of SPD.  Some may become explosive on a temporary term because of an event. Ours will be permenant term until he can learn to cope and make decisions. Before you address them not to become "explosive" it is good to find the root of it. I totally recommend this book to anyone that has a child that is frusterated easily.
We learned there are three ways to address anger. Plan A which is no alternatives, Plan B which is working thru it and letting the child help make the better situation, and Plan C which is both.
The better result is B...I have been doing this with Aleq and it really works. In the past it was Plan A and that is what created meltdowns.
Now, if I could get our friends that have stuck around to support us to understand this and communicate it with their children to use this form, it would be AWESOME. Lots of luck on that though.

I have read the Out Of Sync Child and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. These were great and very knowledgable. However, these I had to read first so I could understand why he is  having a challenging life.
There are so many books I would love to read and need to read. Each one has something the others do not.  Thank goodness for these books. That is why I need to take a bookstore hostage, lol, the books cost money.
To this day, I could kick myself because he had all the signs from when he was born. However, at that time not too many knew about SPD or misdiagnosed. That is why my purpose for this is blog is communicate to others on  how common it is and what to do. It could be severe or very mild. You can do it! If you have any doubts always research.

So far I have learned that Aleq is a "sensory seeker", issues w/ some clothing, and has issues with food. We are working thru those because it means he can't get enough. Some children are opposite to where lights are too bright, touching them may hurt them, noises are too loud, things must be in a certain place and/or they can not be around too many people. Aleq has some of these for instance, he can not be around a crowd or he does not like any change.

As we were working thru different issues I noticed he didn't have the meltdowns as before but he would get frusterated almost to the point of very angry when he could not make a decision. It was different to where no more crying, screaming, hitting and running away as before. However, getting angry then hitting and pushing towards others. After talking with his OT, who has graciously said she is always there for us knowing I do therapy on my own with him, we need to address how to work thru those situations.

As I always tell myself and try to emphasize to others , this is not a quick fix. This is a slow process and will take much repitition and time.
So now I am reading books to help us get thru the journey of working thru problems and not getting angry towards others because they get scared of a bug or don't like animals.

Here is an insert that I really loved to here form The Challenging Child:

Being optimistic, that parents do not have to simply "live with it" or adjust to their child's temperament, but that by creating new parenting pattersn based on the child's characteristics, they can help the child overcome behavior problems and develop his or her emotional and intellectual capacities to the fullest.

I love this statement. You know I homeschool and I am really good with kids usually. My daughter I didn't have any issues until she turned 10 1/2 but that is more of growing up, lol. My parenting skills which I think are good, did not work with Aleq because he could not process situations. So no matter how good of a parent you are do not feel like it it is your fault or you are doing things bad. It is just adjusting your parenting pattern to help your child to where they can process things.

Here is another insert from the book , I like the way he describes these types of children:

Parents can make a dramatic difference in how children use their wonderfully different natural abilities. Children vary considerably in the way they use their senses and bodies and the ways they respond to the world. For each unique pattern, however, parents can create experiences that promote flexibility.

Imagine driving a car that isn't working well. When you step on the gas, the car sometimes lurches forward and sometimes doesn't respond. When you blow the horn, it sounds blaring. The brakes sometimes slow the car, but not always. The blinkers only work occasionally, the steering is erratic, and the speedometer is inaccurate. You are engaged in a constant struggle to keep the car on the road and it is difficult to concentrate on anything else.  needless to say, you would probably be irritable!

This is Aleq along with any other SPD child and it is put well . This is how they go thru in everyday life.....Think about it... our children are not bad or full of hate... They are trying to manage their way thru life trying to keep it together according to everyone else. Please, if you know children like this, the worst you can do is ignore them. They need that support not just from their mom, dad, sister or other relatives. They need to know they are loved and accepted.....

Love, Laugh and Live everyday!